No, dear reader, this headline is not fake news.
This story won’t be full of alternative facts (unlike someone we know who shall remain nameless). But what this story will be full of is utter disbelief, shock and awe.
You see, on Thursday a video from TikTok user Im_D_Ollady (real name: Tessica Brown) was posted to Twitter, explaining the particularly confusing conundrum she had been experiencing for the last month. According to Newsweek, in an effort to whip her hair into an always stylish and slicked-back low braided ponytail, Brown apparently ran out of one of her staple products: Got2B Glued Blasting Freeze Spray. For all my beauty supply and hair-obsessed folks, you know that that particular product is the creme de la creme when it comes to securing flyaways and unruly edges. It’s arguably second to none.
In fact, the only comparable product that boasts a similar hold to Got2B is Gorilla Snot Gel—but for clarification, Gorilla Snot Gel is completely different and not to be confused with the actual, furniture-fixing, never-gonna-let-you-go, stuck-with-you-forever Gorilla Glue.
Nevertheless, after realizing that she was out of her favorite product, Brown decided that the next best thing (but was it really though??) was to use—catch this: Gorilla Glue spray in order to achieve the same effect. And well, let’s just say she found herself in a sticky situation. (And furthermore, Gorilla Snot isn’t even sold in the same section as Gorilla Glue, so the argument that maybe Miss Brown was confused and grabbed the wrong product by mistake doesn’t hold up, pun intended. But I digress.)
“When I do my hair, I like to finish it off with a little Got2B Glued Spray. You know, just to keep it in place. Well I didn’t have anymore Got2B Glued Spray so I used this. Gorilla Glue Spray. Bad, bad, bad idea. Y’all look, my hair. It don’t move. Do you hear what I’m telling you? It don’t move. I’ve washed my hair 15 times and it don’t move.”
She continued, “So I’mma tell y’all like this: if you ever, ever run out of Got2B Glued Spray, don’t ever use this. Unless you want your hair to be like that forever.”
Naturally, this viral video sent Black Twitter into a tizzy with most folks now dedicated to finding a resolution for this woman’s frozen follicles, even offering some slight *support* (again, pun intended).
Sorry to all my work today but I am busy with this Gorilla Glue girl.
— roxane gay (@rgay) February 4, 2021
I’m like invested in this gorilla glue hair situation now. I need constant updates.
— bebe mama (@imbrandisanise) February 4, 2021
the gorilla glue hair video is stressing me out
— season finale (@future_liz) February 4, 2021
Gorilla glue aside… it look nice 😭😭
— cala (@nigglysaurus) February 4, 2021
Thankfully, Gorilla Glue was made aware of Brown’s hair-rendous issue and offered some advice that could potentially help.
A spokesperson for Gorilla Glue told Newsweek, “If someone uses the product on hair, try soaking the affected area in warm, soapy water or applying rubbing alcohol to the area. We saw the video as well, and we do not recommend using our products in hair, as they are considered permanent.”
And all the welps in Welpington welped. Sorry to this woman, I hope she finds the solution she needs.